“In the beginning there was the word”. 

Words by Elizabeth Taderera (Writer / Poet)
Additional words & Research by Alex Gwaze (Curator)

The words above sound familiar, don’t they? This is how the Gospel of John begins in the Bible. It makes me wonder about the origin of words and why they are needed in the first place. In contrast to John’s religious significance of words, the history books tell us that in the Stone Age, our ancestors plastered their caves with paintings. Each painting documented their lives and left messages for us, the children of the future. Then in the Bronze Age Egyptians developed “hieroglyphics”, meaning “sacred carvings” in Greek. Hieroglyphics combined around 1000 logographic, syllabicors, and alphabetic elements. Basically, they were written characters that represented words, written symbols, letters and signs.

I like to think of cave paintings and hieroglyphics as the emojis, hashtags, and memes of their time (but with very serious historical, cultural, and religious significance). They were also posted on walls, which is not unlike Facebook’s original interface. Nonetheless, this type of communication exemplifies the notion that “a picture is worth a thousand words”. An idea that is slowly losing value because people are getting used to expressing themselves between 140 to 280 characters.

Don’t get me wrong, people are still posting their activities on Facebook and sending nudes on Instagram, Snapchat and WhatsApp. But research tells us that the majority of people, around 88% of the population, spend most their time online – “texting”. So what is a “text”? A text is a word, or words – strategically placed together with the intent to be read. It can be literature, a street sign, or building notices. It’s purpose it to send out some sort of message or give out information. For “Zoomers” (people born between 1997-2012) and “Millennials” (people born between 1981-1996) who have grown up with the Internet and smartphones, “texting” means using your mobile phone to send a direct message (DM) to someone.

Today texting is the most preferred form of communication. In America 75% of adults would rather text than make a phone call. And a quick survey of 50 of my close friends here in Zimbabwe – revealed that 95% of them make two phone calls a week (often for work, home or family errands / emergencies). Whilst actually talking to someone is more intimate and builds stronger relationships, this generation is not talking! Receiving a phone call is “something special”, a friend said to me. This is maybe because we actually equate texting to a ‘real’ conversation.

If you were to ask someone what they are doing online, they will probably tell you, “I am talking to someone”. Yet they have never cal⁸led that person and do not even know what their voice sounds like. The reasons why people tend to text instead of calling range from: high cost of phone calls; social media platforms are cheaper and have more tools; and texting doesn’t disrupt what I’m doing (mainly texting to other people and viewing content online). And, texting is convenient because I can reply when I want (grey / blue ticking); I have more time to think of a creative response; I can edit the text; it’s easier to access because I don’t have to find a silent space; text messages are shorter; and it’s more private (no one can over hear what I am saying).

To me these are all great reasons, but I have another one I would like to add. Personally, I struggle to send a voice text. I just don’t know what to say. I cringe when I get phone calls, so much so that I choose to ignore the call altogether if I see that the person is online. I have developed what is called “phone call anxiety”. “Phone anxiety” or, “telephobia” is the “fear and avoidance of phone calls”. It doesn’t mean I am scared of my phone, quite the opposite. I love everything I can do on my phone except calls – and I am not alone. A survey of office workers in the United Kingdom found that 76% of those born after 1981 reported having feelings of nervousness, anxiety, tension, shortness of breath and increased heart rate when their phone rang. Therefore, they completely avoided calls.

Researchers suggest that “telephobia” could be linked to the “pressure of being someone’s focus”, the fear of “rejection or disapproval”, and the fear of “immediacy of reactions”. Whatever the case, I think social media has magnified some of those feelings of not being good enough. There are 6.5 billion smartphones around the world, and we have already established that people nowadays equate “texting” with “real” world immediate conversations. This is because words have been a vital part of people’s lives since their creation. They have been used to educate, share beliefs, profess love and to creates emotional connections. In other words, written or said words help people to express their thoughts and feelings. But words can also be used against you.

In Zimbabwe, we constantly overhear stories of women who have fallen victim to abusers, perverts, and users who use the pretext of starting a “friendly conversation” in the DMs to lure women into “sexting” and one night stands. Relationships these days revolve around texting, just like love-letters, but the difference is that back in the day real world conversations were an essential part of the courting process. I heard one lady say, “you girls are texting someone for a week or two and suddenly changing boyfriends and booking a lodge, why”?

This is because “text-time,” or screen time is substituted for real time. Young girls and women rush into relationships with someone they really don’t know but they feel like they know them because they talk to them every day – “good morning, good nights, I like you’s and you are specials”.

However, when they meet they would much rather be texting them than talking to them. They notice the warning signs but can’t understand what’s wrong. It’s not a secret words are seductive. The right set of words can overwhelm reason and logic – soothe, and empower you. I can speak for myself about this power of words. When I lost a parent and I was watching my life change within split seconds. I found myself in a dark wormhole. So many emotions took over me. I felt lost, neglected, angry and most of all, I felt like an outsider. I did not know how to exorcise the hurt I felt. But then I found myself immersed in other people’s words. Poetry became my escape pod.

 I know it sounds like a cliché to a have a tragic story that awakens a creative spirit but it is my story and the reason I’m telling it now will become apparent soon. As a poet I’ve realised words can help in boosting a person’s confidence and create a different person. Thanks to social media the desire to become, or present another personality online, has become an everyday thing. People create an avatar and look for connections for the character they have created online. When they get validation for that “other self”, they invest more time and energy in establishing those online emotions and habits in their real life.

As an author / poet, I know all about creating characters, moods, feelings, and ideas – with just words. But unlike my fictional characters and situations, in real life my words can hurt people. That “hurt feeling” is probably why most people nowadays prefer texting. They cannot deal with the reality that they might run out of things to say, they may not be confident enough, witty or fun enough – or worse yet they may ruin the game of pretend.

Let’s call a spade what it is, we all know it’s easier to lie online than in person. Even though we don’t admit it, we all love being lied to. Being called beautiful is fun, (and that feeling of having someone’s attention is addictive). But we all know, whoever we are texting is not talking to just us, in that very moment. That’s why as a generation we have to overcome our fear of phone calls and start talking to each other. Whether it’s a potential relationship or “friend” we meet online, we have to create some real world – real time. A friend of mine said something that summarises our predicament perfectly. She said, “When someone calls I feel like they have invaded my personal space. When I text it’s almost like the words expressed in text are not my own. There are from user name who I can log out from, I don’t have to take it that seriously”.

That feeling of not being ‘serious’ might feel right but when emotions are involved virtual spaces and personal space tend to share the same bed,. Therefore, it’s important to establish good real world habits that can help you avoid getting into toxic relationships. One such habit I recommend is making more phone calls. Think about it like this – if you are afraid of having a conversation with that person over a phone call, then they are not worth the sweet and sexy texts they send you. In the end, a relationship can start online but anything physical requires the same real time you’ve spent online, offline.

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